August 27, 2010

Grumpy bought me a car and I am ME.

No food today.  I haven't had much to talk about lately (food that is).  When you eat alone for the most part, it is easy to not cook or bake.  I eat a lunch with friends and then dinner isn't all that desirable!  I hope to cook up something good at some point this weekend, but our lives are very different right now and time is always short. 

I spent last weekend with Grumpy in our new haunts.  We looked at duplexes, did some shopping and looked at cars & suv's.  I was very tempted to buy a pilot last Saturday but ended up chickening out.  Today however, I am going to pick up a car that Grumpy bought for me.  I can hear it in his voice, how happy and proud he is that he was able to buy me a car.  I love him for that.  Not for the car so much as for the feeling it gives him to give me something he knows I need.  He is the best husband.

These few weeks without him around has give me plenty of alone time to think.  A majority of the time in my life I felt unaccepted.  I was "different".  Whether it was in my secular or religious life.  I didn't fit in anywhere.  I did what I did to feel normal.  I married, had children, went to church.  But it was all an act.  Something I "thought" I needed to do to be happy.  I know now, that I went about things all the wrong way - but when you are young, it is hard to say "I am me.  Like me, hate me, be indifferent with me.  I don't care because I am happy that way."  I can say that now.  Its sad that I have to be almost 50 to be able to say that, but at least I still have a few good years left to be happy. 

I love my children.  I love my husband.  They are the strongest points in my life.  They have always loved me for who I am.  Not who they think I should be or what they wanted me to be.  I have other people in my life who have treated me the same.  I especially think of my Aunt Marlene & Uncle Gary.  They are like my second parents.  They have loved me unconditionally and been there for me in ways that I never expected them to be.  They have my total loyalty for the rest of my  life because of this. While it took some time for my parent's to accept me for who I really am, they have come to do so and I can see that they would do anything  for me. These are the people in my life closest to me now who allow me to be me and love me no matter what.  I have to say I am at the happiest and much of it is thanks to them.  The rest is because I learned to accept that people don't have to like me for me to be happy.

So, in just a few more weeks, Grumpy and I will head out on a new venture in our life.  We will be away from this family but closer to other family.  A new experience that has promise and happiness in the picture.  An opportunity for the both of us to move on and make changes in our life that otherwise we may not have done if we stayed where we were.  I have apprehension because I am leaving a job I have done for so long but change has happened there too.  Its not the same.  Its not bad, but not the same.  It is only appropriate that Grumpy & my life changes now at this point in time.  He has a new and wonderful opportunity for him.  I have an opportunity to do something different in my career.  Whether I choose to do so or not - we will see.   Right now things are up in the air for me.  Everything else is stable, but I have decisions to make for myself.  I look forward to it though.   With anxiousness, excitement, and fear - but all in a good way.

I know this is long and probably boring - especially to my readers who come here for food - but if you made it this far it is because you somehow "know" me and are interested in what I have to say.  :)  When I have more definites in my life, I will certainly come back to share.  :o)

21 comments:

Joan said...

This seems like an exciting time in your life, filled with new opportunities and I'm glad you shared it with "us".

So, what kind of car are you getting :)

bellini valli said...

Change is as good as a vacation. I know that you and Grumpy will continue to be happy in your new home surrounded by family, and if not they are all not far away.

Shelby said...

Oops! lol, I forgot to say he bought me a Honda Accord. This is my first "real" car since he and I have been together in 10 years. Last year he got his truck. This year was my turn. finally! lol

Mags said...

Shelby, I think this is my favorite post you've ever written. (Can you believe that since it didn't include food?...LOL)

I can identify with a lot of what you wrote and want to wish you and Grumpy the best in your new life adventure. Change can be difficult, but when you have your true love and best friend by your side, the transition goes much smoother. You two will be fine wherever you are, as long as you're together. Love ya girl, and good luck!

Shelby said...

:) thanks Mags. I love you too!

Cristine said...

You are such an inspiration to me, Shelby! I don't seem to fit a "mold" either and I am finally starting to learn to accept me for me and others can take it or leave it. Man, I really wish we lived in the same city! :)

Good luck in whatever you decide to do! I know you will do awesome!

Shelby said...

Cristine, someday, even if we never live in the same city, we will come together and it will be just "right" between us. I feel like you are family I have known all my life! HUGS

Fallon said...

I'm so happy for you! This is a great turn for the both of you and I wish you the best of luck. I can't wait to hear what car you end up getting!

David said...

I am glad you found your happiness and a new car. I am a little upset I had to read the entire post and comments to figure out what kind of car Grumpy bought you!! LOL.

Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

- Abraham Lincoln

Andy said...

Shelby, Am so glad that things are turning out great for you. I have been following your blogs for long and I feel as i have known you since too!! Wishing you and G all the very best in this new chapter in your life

Love
Andy

pegasuslegend said...

Shelby with all the ups and downs you two have endured it has made a bond stronger than ever between you two, I wish you more happiness than ever in your new journey together, its been a rough year and now its time to rejoice and live for each other...you two have something very special and its obvious you are embracing that and change..god bless and enjoy this new trek with your grumpy!

Gera @ Sweets Foods Blog said...

Just to say good luck in your new horizons and hope the best for you more your family.

Really all the best,

Gera

Shelby said...

LOL, David, you totally cracked me up at 5 AM this morning. Apparently the car made your approval. lol

Thanks for leaving the comment Andy, it is nice to hear from readers you don't normally hear from!

Fallon, Claudia & Gera - thank YOU. You have all been great blogging friends!

Flourchild said...

Thanks for sharing your heart. You have an amazing life and a wonderful hubby! Congrats on the new car..I loved getting one too! I agree not the car so much as the love behind it.:0) Bless you on your new adventure in life!

teresa said...

good for you! i've often felt the same way, so this post was very inspiring. best of luck with your new changes!

Barbara Bakes said...

Have fun with the new car, and the new city. Wishing you loads of fun new adventures!

Jamie said...

First, welcome the the Honda family! I have a Honda CRV and my husband has a Honda Accord. You'll love your new car. You are opening a new chapter in your life and yes it is scary but it is wonderful too! Keep us up to date...food or not. We want to know what is going on with Grumpy's Honeybunch :)

Ingrid said...

Best wishes always, Shelby!! To you and Grumpy!
~ingrid

Natalie said...

Husbands are great, aren't they? :)

Change is hard but you have the right attitude towards it and I can't wait to see where life takes you...and what delicious recipes you make along the way :)

Cheryl said...

Good for you! I am a fairly new reader and not here just for the food :) It took me a long time to become myself as well, I have always been a loner and never sure of myself. Finally at 45 I think I get it! Good luck to both of you!

Deanna said...

We wish we never got rid of my old Honda Accord...best car ever. Been where you are now too with all the changes...good luck, it will be exciting, and will all work out!

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